Perubahan Rencana

Aku sedang menulis sebuah buku. Buku ini baru sampai tahap pengumpulan bahan dan pengarahan plot. Awalnya buku yang aku tulis aku niatkan buat menceritakan lika-liku kuliah dan segala hal yang menyertainya. Ya jadi sudut pandang utamanya adalah proses kuliahnya.
Semakin ke sini semakin ruwet dan akhirnya aku memutuskan untuk mengubah konsep. Aku cuma mau cerita aku dan kamu. Ya, mungkin cerita tentang aku dan kamu juga mengharuskan aku cerita tentang kuliah sih, tapi intinya aku mau lebih fokus tentang aku dan kamu.
Mengapa? karena aku merasa tujuan aku menulis sudah berubah. Awalnya niat suci mau berbagi kisah ke orang lain buat menggambarkan kuliah itu bisa apa saja, tapi... sekarang penulisan buku ini demi kewarasan aku yang semakin hilang.
Tau Pak BJ Habibie? Ya... salah satu orang paling cerdas sejagat itu. Sepeninggal istrinya, beliau seakan menyangkal kenyataan... dia hidup seolah ibu Ainun masih hidup bersamanya. Kemudian beliau menulis buku tentang sang istri. Dari awal pertemuan mereka hingga akhir-akhir kebersamaan mereka. Di akhir menulis buku itu, beliau baru benar-benar sadar kalau sang istri telah pergi, benar-benar pergi dan tak ada lagi penyangkalan dari dirinya.
Aku tau kita beda keadaan dengan Ainun-Habibie. Beda.. sangat beda, tapi harapan aku.. setelah aku selesai menulis buku ini, aku akan sadar bahwa kamu sudah pergi, benar-benar pergi. Tanpa penyangkalan apapun. Tanpa pengharapan kamu akan kembali.

The Most Affecting People in My College Life

So, it has been a year and a half of my life that I spent in college.
Almost everything has changed. My daily life, things I learn, things I do, people I'm with, and of course my self.

Live in the middle of society where most of your friends are men... it's really life-changing experience. I can't really explain it, but you can ask my friends about how much I've changed since the first day here, in college, till this very day.

My point of view of life, how I handle troubles, how I react to things around me, how I act daily, it all changed. It all changed in the good way. I've become so patient, more polite, more cheerful, more flirtatious, and so many more. Generally because I learn that being tough on these guys would just making it worse. They already get so much pressure and being tough on them would add more pressure. So, i decided to become cheerful, for them. I try to provide them with things they need, literally anything. Start from food, beverages, some jokes, some flirtatious actions, and other things that I'm too embarrassed to write it here.

PSMT, M2014, Diwangkara and others community I'm in all contribute to this new life, but I have list of people who affect me the most. Here they are:

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Well...
It has been a really long time since I write something here.
I've been writing elsewhere, not on blog, just in some notes.
I'm in the third semester now. The semester that everyone says would be so hard and shocking.
The reality? ahahahahahahaha yes it is.
This semester... most of the subject is the real next level of physics and mathematics.
Plus... my choir is busy, really tight schedule. I even missed some class because that crazy schedule.
How not? I practice at 4 p.m and most of my class start at 1-3 p.m and finish at 4-6 p.m.
When I dont feel like going to class, I have a place to go. I practice with my choir.
I practice Monday-Saturday, preparing for competition and concert. Also, my division have 3 projects in a row in 2 months... Wasn't it crazy?
It was really energy and emotionally draining.
You know what make it worse? My personal life is also all over the place.
Things just not in their place.
But... I still find happiness here and there. There are things to be sad about, but there are a lot more things to be grateful about.
In the last weeks, things actualy gets better.
I really wish a happy life for everyone in my life.

Lotta love
ASP